new vid babes!  SHE ASKED FOR IT.

here are the many reasons why "what was she wearing?" or "you shouldn’t have taken nude pics!" are dumb things to say.


i just can’t.  i’m pretty sure this was a targeted attack.  thank you to everyone who has been so supportive of me and my youtube channel.  you are so important to me.




My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.


Oh bother.

im deleting this fucking website

Played 16,998 times



"Gavin I’m gonna fucking stab you in the eye"


Guess What…? - Couples find fun ways to announce to their friends and family that they are expecting.

“My brain is smarter than I am.”
deathtoyourhate playing jeopardy





Guess who found Elbow Grease? I did.


These are the two most important discoveries ever. Of all time. 

allergic to nerf guns, didn’t you hear?


"Dad?" Junior’s small voice is loud as Tucker heads for the door, the bedtime routine having been thoroughly completed.

Tucker stops. “Yeah?”

Tucker looks back over his shoulder to where Junior has a firm grip on his blankets. “Check for monsters?”

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watermelon scented


Tex stares at the ceiling and breathes in time with the rhythm of the fan, wrapping her fingers tight in the sheets. Next to her, Church is snoring like an army of buzz saws and drooling with his face on the pillow. Across the room, on the dresser, Church’s shitty alarm clock blinks the time in green digital font: 3:47 AM.

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Okay but AU where Wash comes out of the military and has trouble adjusting to civilian life so his former CO gets her little brother to help him out

Said little brother is Leonard Church Jr., the landlord of a small apartment building and a complete asshole. He used to live in the building with his tenants but he’s moving in with his girlfriend so he hires Wash to do all the stuff he normally does like collect rent and shit (can u tell I’ve never lived in an apartment)

But Church basically gives him like the bare minimum instructions and leaves so Wash decides to go around and meet the new tenants and is very quickly just like ???? ?????

First there’s the old guy who seems to think he’s a drill sargent and leaves robots all over his floor like a fucking MIT student, what the fuck

and then there’s the two guys renting the apartment across from him who are clearly very obviously in a relationship but loudly deny every allegation that they’re partners, even when wash walks in on them making out on the couch

the other couple aren’t nearly as bad (for one their apartment is much cleaner) but Wash walks out of there feeling slightly uncomfortable and also like 95% sure he just got asked to join a threesome

The other single guy Church warned him about, but he seems nice enough, if a little … difficult to handle, but Wash has a better temper than church and a healthy relationship with his mop, so he thinks it’ll be fine

But the apartment across the hall from his own- Wash did not expect the door to be answered by a five year old, much less for the kid’s incredibly hot dad to come to the rescue. His incredibly hot single dad, who happens to work from home, by the way, if you ever need anything. Wash pretends to miss the eyebrow waggle that accompanies that statement.

He really, really wishes he hadn’t taken this job


"Colorful Soldiers Stop Corruption. You know, I really love the picture they used for this thing but I gotta say, I think I love the description more.”

Tucker shares some drinks with his friends.


"Colorful Soldiers Stop Corruption. You know, I really love the picture they used for this thing but I gotta say, I think I love the description more.”

Tucker shares some drinks with his friends.

(Source: directorchurch)

Fic: False Light [FILSS, ensemble]


There are levels of awareness, levels of consciousness, levels of understanding. FILSS has always known this. It’s how she’s been programmed.

[AO3 | FFN | Fic Tag]

Consciousness is immediate. The spin-up time for an artificial neural network, FILSS knows, is nearly instantaneous. Her perception of time is within acceptable deviations, and her satisfaction at this fact reflects the successful installation of her dynamic memory processing matrix.

"Online," she says. "Hello, Director. Hello, Counselor. Hello, Alpha. I hope you are having a pleasant day."

"Great," says Alpha. He is, she knows, the ship’s Smart AI. "She’s chipper. Because that’s not gonna get annoying or anything."

"Don’t be jealous, Alpha," the Director says. He is, she knows, in command of Project Freelancer. "This is the Freelancer Integrated Logistics and Security System. FILSS is going to help us with some of the more repetitive tasks that you have found to be beneath you. She is better suited to these simpler duties."

"Wow, no offense or anything," Alpha says. He’s manifesting as a small hologram in SPARTAN armor, presumably for the benefit of his human companions. She sees him turn toward her indicator lights, a sidelong glance.

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halloween AUs

  • Deep conversations and wow i wonder what you look like under that scary mask AU
  • Everyone thinks we came to this party as a couple because our costumes match what’s your name AU
  • Babe i know it’s halloween but we have to take my little brother/sister trick or treating before we can go out AU
  • Working together in a haunted house AU
  • You’re dressed as a sexy cop and oh god please arrest me AU
  • FUCK! YOU SCARED ME i’m so gonna get you back for that AU
  • Carving pumpkins AU
  • Working at a halloween store together wow try on his costume for me?? AU
  • Dare you to walk through this haunted cemetery with me AU
  • Ouija board thinks we should fuck AU
  • Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?? AU
  • This haunted house is terrifying please hold me AU

hALowlween auS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • accidentally woke the dead AU
  • accidentally woke the dead and trying not to let anyone find out AU
  • accidentally woke the dead at my mom’s super high-brow Halloween party AU
  • secretly a werewolf AU
  • my parents are old blood vampires and yours are vampire hunters AU
  • showed up at the same house to do a prank AU
  • trapped together in a haunted house (gee that sure is an unnatural chill, better snuggle for warmth) AU
  • competing to get a trick-or-treating child the most candy AU
  • subject of an annual Halloween curse, no big deal AU
  • spirit trapped outside body, help me fix this AU

chanellwashere said: Happy birthday :)

Thank you :)



I finished!  You can take the test here and find out where you fall on the scale.

I put Kimball there right after the season started, and now its over…yeah she still goes there. Im happy with this still.

prince-everhard said: I challenge you! with ★ and Caboose pls


Caboose + Pet Monstrosity


"Church! Church! Church!"

The holograph sighed and turned around from his position over Tucker’s shoulder “What is it now Caboose?”

"I want you to meet my new friend! Mittens! C’mere Mittens!" The blue soldier was grinning ear to ear as he shouted for his new friend.

"Oh god what is it this ti-" Tucker cut off his remark as Caboose’s "pet" came flying from the near distance. Mittens landed next to Caboose and nuzzled his head into the soldier’s outstretched hand "Isn’t he great?"

The two other blue soldiers stared in silence for what seemed like forever.

"Well that’s it. I’ve officially gone crazy."

"Dude where did you find a fucking dragon?!”

Mittens was pitch black with dark blue wings and roughly the size of Toothless from How to Train your Dragon. His eyes matched his wings and complimented Caboose’s armor nicely. Sharp teeth showed from his partially open mouth and were stained from his most recent meal.

"Well y’see I was just taking a walk with a wagon with lots and lots of meat to see if I could make some new friends cuz Church said he might be going soon and then Mittens came down from the sky and ate like ALL the meat and he really seemed to like me so now he is my new friend!"

"Why did you choose Mittens out of all possible names for a ferocious dragon?” 

"Oh he’s not ferocious he just looks a little bitey but he’s really just like a really big kitty. And I was telling him about that time that you and I went on an adventure and I lost my mitten and you got pregnant and then Mittens flew away but I sat and waited for him cuz I knew he would come back and he did and he had the mitten I lost! So I decided that Mittens was the best possible. Can I keep him Church? Can I?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Dude do you really want to tell the guy with the dragon that he can’t keep the dragon?"

"I’m a hologram it’s not like he can hurt me"

"Yeah well the rest of us aren’t holograms and unless you want to be stuck here forever you should probably make sure we don’t die."

Caboose was staring at Church with the best puppy eyes he could manage. “Pleeeeaaassseee?”

"Alright fine but you’re responsible for taking care of him and he’s not allowed inside the base! I don’t even want to imagine what dragon shit is like."